Reading them again now reminds me why I used to nod off sometimes (as I remember others did too!).

I can't make any real sense of it, and back then I would put that down to me not being spiritual enough or devoted enough. I must have been wearing very strong premie-coloured glasses, because reading it again now it's clear that it really is complete balderdash after all!!!

I also remember feeling awkward or uncomfortable whenever Maharaji spoke in a way that was rude and critical or just plain ignorant. I used to hope he'd quickly move on to another subject! I think others might have felt like that too, I could sense it.

It's great not having to put up with feeling that any more, and I think that's why we often found it difficult to invite friends or relations to intro. events. It was just too embarrassing!

Best wishes

It has been indispensable to me since I first discovered EPO in June/July this year, shortly after Ally Pally. Even though I'd heard of the "anti-Maharaji" sites I hadn't dared to check them out because premies were saying "just don't go there!" And apparently it was Maharji's direction that premies should not even look at these sites.

For some reason, after Ally Pally, I found that I just could not swallow the way M & K are presented to the public and premies; all the CD's and publications for sale just made it all look so false. As if it was necessary to package M&K all up in a nice, clean, non-Indian-rooted, new-agey type image. It felt lifeless and false.

And sitting in the programme, watching all the usual front rowers get their wonderful close view of M, and all us unimportant premies, with no cash to get the decent seats,
sitting miles away, watching them all with envy! And I suddenly realised it was never going to change.

I thought back to the 70's when it was all so new and exciting, and we were all so full of hope for the future and what it would bring. And now we were in the future, and what had it really brought me?

All these thoughts led me to check out EPO, and on my first visit I was absolutely devasted, and I felt quite hurt really at everything I discovered there. I found it hard to bring myself to imagine that M wasn't the Lord. Because I always thought that anything wrong was NEVER his fault, and ALWAYS ours.

So reading the forum has really helped get it all sorted out in my mind, and my heart. When I first looked, I used be really shocked at some of the pictures of Maharaji. Now I laugh.

And I laughed at the picture you posted Hilltop, the monkey one!

My daughter is hassling me now for the computer. She wants to chat to her friends!

Thanks for the welcome, and I look forward to posting more when I get the chance.

All the best
Anna