Hi Babaluji,

I'm sitting here looking at a CD my hubby plays a lot called "Cuban Originals," by Dezi Arnaz, and the best cuts are "Babalu," "Holiday in Havana" and "Cuban Pete."  Dance and sing-along music galore!  "Boom-chicky- boom, Boom-chicky-boom, Boom-chicky-boom."  I've got a feeling that's not your music though. 

You brought up an important topic and I'm interested to hear from others about this.

I find that sometimes when having a discussion with premies about Maharaji and why I left and all the reasons (Jagdeo, Monica, the drinking, the pot smoking, the money, his nasty personality, etc.) the premie will respond with the "unlit match" argument that I or we never understood what it was all about from the very beginning.  Well, I stuck around for about 25 years and I sure thought that I "got it".

Do these premies actually say "unlit match?"  Or do they just say, "oh those ex-premies never got it.?"  Both?  I don't have any contact with premies anymore so I'm curious.

First of all, anyone who stuck around for 25 years definitely got it unless they were braindead to begin with, and you most definitely are not brain-dead.  What amazes me the most about all of this is Rawat's attempt to even further mind-f**k people, even after they leave.  Oh, it's okay if premies leave and not say anything but, rue the day,  if you do say something, so just watch out.  Then you're a hate group member.  Moi?  It is equally disturbing and perplexing. There's no word that comes to mind at the moment to describe the gall of that except, maybe, gobsmacked.

Basically, will current old time hardcore premies now have to scrutinize each and every premie friend they have as a potential "unlit match" if and when that premie becomes an ex-premie. when that premie becomes an ex-premie.  I suspect that such surprises must be very upsetting.  I mean, what does it feel like when your best premie friend with whom you shared so much satsang and knowing winks and exchanges becomes an ex-premie?  Surely, it can't feel good and one way of heading off the disappointment is to write every one off early on.  And thus, you've got a lot of mistrust in the system.  You know and certainly you must remember - the JUDGING.  Bongos and all the rest.  What an ugly world it is that Maharaji and his premies have in mind for everyone."

There's got to be an enormous, unprecedented amount of paranoia.  The cult now has premies believing (and it's another part of the mind-control) that ex-premies really are an organized hate-group.  How does one argue with that?  On a person-to-person basis it must be so difficult to square the circle of someone who has felt like family for decades and now is not only "away" but, labeled as worse than bad, but evil, someone to be shunned and sued and arrested???  That's extremism.

Bongos.  In some way, each of us was a bongo (I mean, really) but to have created an untouchable class of devotees, many of whom I remember being so unstable in some major way or another is just inhumane and callous.  Everyone knew a bongo.  I can't stand that word.  Did anyone ever try to reach out to these "bongos," or were they someone for us to laugh at, condescend to, and, of course, at programs, keep away from Maharaji?  (I'll insert here that there, indeed, were people who came along that were dangerous to themselves and others, including Maharaji.)  I never was involved in security at programs so I don't know much about this subject and how "bongos" were dealt with.  It's worth talking about, and calling people bongos, well, that makes me feel sad. 

With the possibility of premies becoming ex-premies is it possible that there exists a certain degree of apprehension and mistrust in the premie community?  And one wonders whether a premie community even exists anymore. 

There has got to be so much paranoia. Look at the upcoming program in LA.  There's no information online, when you would think that publishing info online would be a major goal in this day and age.  It's distrust and paranoia because Rawat and EV have premies convinced of all of their so-called "harassment" allegations against ex-premies.  SmartCards!  How can the cult even trust someone with a Smartcard?  (Do they even issue a "bongo" a SnartCard?

Anyone could become an ex-premie at any time and still have a valid card.  Rawat's good at pitting people against each other. Paranoia and distrust.  Apples don't fall far from trees.  I think there always was a lot of distrust under the surface in the past -- we were, after all, strangers thrust together -- who essentially, almost automatically lived together as family.  I think we resolved any distrust issues through the use of "satsang" giving and lots of rationalization. "It's Lila."  "Go with the flow."

You know, as much as we are so far from being a group, but we are definitely bonded to each other because of our common experience, having been in that creepy cult.  Even on the off-topic forum, I see that sometimes we argue like siblings.  It's kind of unique.  Is it??  I don't know.  I think of it as a way of rediscovering ourselves as time goes on, as we filter out the utter shit that Maharaji filled our minds and hearts with.  Not for everyone, I suppose.  I really love it, too.  Makes me feel loved and more secure in myself as a whole person.  No one really can understand us as we can understand each other and "us" as far as we are an "us," after all.

Just a bunch of thoughts...

Cynth

I don't know what's going on with the font size... 

Does this mean that all the premies now practising, who I gave K to, are unlit matches too? Or is M's grace so powerful that his grace can pass through an unlit match instructor to create a lit match premie?

I have recently been having an email thread with a premie family to whom I gave K, and who are freaked out that I am now an ex. Should I email them to say that unfortunately as a consequence they are in fact unlit matches themselves, and never 'really' got K?

Since he is all-knowing, he must have known at the time that I was an unlit match. And it is even stranger - I did not actually apply to be an instructor, he asked me to be one; and he even kept me on after all the others had been suspended (1990/91).

Is this his unfathomable lila ?

Asking humbly for guidance and clarity on this issue...

That's okay Jim. Introspection does take some sincerity, and I wouldn't expect enough from you in that area to make it a worthwhile read.

A couple of points:

you sound like you are getting more confused with each passing day

I cannot answer for how I sound to you, Jonx, but I think I am getting very much clearer and less confused, particularly as regards Maharaji and my involvement with him for 30+ years.

Not sure why you would burden that family with your deliberations though

Actually they emailed me first, and I answered their questions in as respectful and loving a manner as I could. Are you suggesting I should have simply ignored their email ?

BTW, I am very much looking forward to reading your answers to Jim's excellent questions in his post to you immediately above this one.

Potential if not inevitable burn out.

Before Xmas a premie I know took her life.  This is a very sad event especially for some people I am very close to, more than for myself.

She had been to Amaroo (the last time M attended) and had attended prior events there spending a lot of time in the place where they all drink.  This was not a good thing for her as she already had a substance abuse problem. 

What does knowledge do for people with mental disabilities or psychosis?  Does it help or indeed increase the psychosis?  When one tried to communicate with this person that she was obviously in trouble she would respond with satsang.  How can you help someone who thinks they are already saved?

No premie attended her funeral.

My deduction - knowledge doesn't work.  Premies tell me it works for them but I believe Maharaji should modify his advertising to "knowledge works for some people - around 1/3 of the people who receive it seem to gain some benefit".  It would be closer to the truth!

I know in one satsang he said if you have mental problems you see a psychiatrist - but if you want peace you take this knowledge.  Does not the psychotic person want peace?  This is a very misleading statement and I wonder if M cared at all about this person or even knew of her existence. 

I don't write this to be disrespectful to her but am a little angry that she got no good advice.

So, now I've missed the point.  What part of Maharaji's agya didn't I understand?  I faithfully practiced satsang (went every night), did service (hardly ever had a gap and was assigned service by the community coordinator from the time  was an aspirant) and I usually meditated more than Maharaji prescribed.  I never broke the ashram rules.  Not once. 

I worshipped Maharaji, did everything in my power to surrender to him, I kissed his feet, went to see him before I got K and certainly after.  I gave up my life for him and I moved into the ashram as he asked of all available premies at the time. 

What did I miss?

Am I concerned that you have stopped practicing Knowledge and now hate Maharaji?

I don't hate Maharaji.  Premies and Maharaji's Elan Vital website say that I hate him, but I don't.

If it [practicing for years] was so bad, why give it another moment's thought, surely your fabulous new life is totally absorbing and satisfying.

Yeah, sure.  Well, Mr. Big Shot, it isn't!  I am sorry that you don't give a crap about anything or anyone else in this world.  Me included.  You're so sure about my life, are you?  Did you send your check into Maharaji's 501(3)(c) organization for the Tsumani Relief effort so his organization can take its 50% cut in "expenses" before sending the other 50% on to a real charity doing works on the ground in South Asia?  Like the latest Press Release indicates, not a subjee has yet been cooked by the Delhi Ashram premies to feed anyone with the Hundred Grand collected.  Are there any victims in Delhi?  No.  How will they get to the southern end of the country?  Bullock cart?  They're still studying the situation.  Meanshile, a half million peole are dead.  Will you be flying to LA next week for the event to hear M remind you to breath?  Will you be staying in a hotel?  Going out to West Hollywood for dinner?  Or helicoptering in from Malibu?  Surely you must be a little egomaniacal like your guru, no?  Surely you know everything in the world there is to know in that you practice Knowledge.  Surely you are all-knowing, now that you've practiced Knowledge for 30 years.  Surely you're so full of crap.    I practiced devotedly for 30 years and all I got was a back row seat and a lousy $100 EVEN IN YOUR DARKEST HOUR I WILL NOT ABANDON YOU watch.  My hearing is going as is my sight.  But my ear for bullcrap remains atuned.  Don' assume so much.  Your pompous attitude is what I used to have.  In fact, all my friends who weren't premies have now abandoned me because of it.  And now that I'm "anti," well, you and all premies I know have shunned me and abandoned me.  That's okay because  surely [my] fabulous new life is totally absorbing and satisfying. Wrong.  If you're so satisfied, why do you feel the need to come here and instruct us on how to live.

OTS,

I'm so sorry to hear about your eyesight and hearing -- and everything else, too.  I was going to tell this person, a premie responder, that along with everything else I gave up for Maharaji, I also gave up a child in my womb, in large part because Charanand's advice.  Is Charanand also an unlit match????  How much more can a person give to Rawat?  Premies have told me I am a baby killer because of it.  So much for who is hateful and who is loving. 

So here's a premie responder telling us why we are haters, barking dogs, and unlit matches.

Some nerve. 

Please take care of yourself,

Cynthia

What's the world of Knowledge like these days, same as it's been for the last 30 years.

I had to laugh when I read your quote, PR. You're right that things haven't changed. Here is why: thirty years ago, the 1970's documentary "Lord of the Universe" chronicled the events surrounding the Houston Astrodome fiasco, during which a young Maharaji promised the world a lasting peace, harmony, and a rollicking good time. Not much has changed since the filming of the documentary.

One of the most telling scenes, then and now, was at the airport prior to the Astrodome. When Maharaji landed in Houston, his handlers adorned him with flower garlands. After a brief speech that would make any Toastmaster cringe, the flower garlands were pulled apart and doled out to pleading hands of Maharaji's followers.

Then, the premies with flowers held them close to their nostrils, gleefully sniffing in their master's lingering neck sweat. Meanwhile, the unlucky premies who had not received a flower bellowed and cried amidst the ambivalent flower-sniffers' covert smiles to each other.

So, back to your comment that the "world of Knowledge" is the "same as its been for the last 30 years" (sic), you're right! In today's "Events with Maharaji," followers still worship your master's feet (literally and figuratively).

Granted, some things have changed. For example, in today's events, during the trance-inducing musical performances, dancing in the aisles is strictly forbidden. Violators are quickly swarmed and whisked away by security officers using state-of-the-art surveillance equipment.

But, overall, today's events recall the same behaviors captured in the "Lord of the Universe" documentary. For example, Maharaji is constantly surrounded by handlers (who, incidentally, make convenient scapegoats for Maharaji). One thing is certain, Maharaji behaves in exactly the same way as he did thirty years ago, namely, by constantly trying to re-invent himself to sell his message to new audiences. Thirty years ago he was a "prophet." Later, he became a "teacher." Now, he is a "successful businessman." What will he be tomorrow? The answer is best left to the wind, PR.

More importantly, Maharaji still speaks in completely non-sensical terms that would make any Hollywood continuity editor blush. Between the lectures(?), followers do not discuss Maharaji's message because, simply put, his message amounts to nothing more than heaping doses of tautology upon tautology. Nowadays, the subject is oftentimes a plant that grows in the desert, or a pilot that knows nothing about engines. What substantive issues are there for Maharaji's followers to discuss and ponder?

Maharaji's current message is no different than his message thirty years ago.  Sure, the packaging might be different. But, at its core, the thread remains the same: when the master barks, the obedient dogs had better come running.

Jonathan

Your post probably cannot be used to criticize you over much since it is impossible to judge a person from such little information.  But what your post does reveal is a very unworthy attitude.  I'm not sure you are really as narrow-minded and downright stupid as your post indicates.

Why do I say stupid?  Because only an unintelligent person would defend Rawat's alleged nasty behavior in the way that you did, by saying that even the nastiest behavior is no reason to end a relationship.  You've ended up admitting the point in question, even condoning it, without seeming to realize what you are doing.  Stupid.

Why do I say narrow-minded?  Well, all premies are narrow-minded because they are willing to exclusively follow a path that involves Rawat as the only authority figure and the four techniques as the defined proper way for inner exploration.  But the inner realities and the sources of beauty and truth can never be so narrowly defined.  You, as an example of a premie, have demonstrated and personified this narrow-minded quality in blazing light.  All you care about is what you experience from practicing those four techniques.  Period.  You admit it freely, even proudly, and have no idea what kind of impression you are making on reasonable people who don't share you own narrow-mindedness.

But, what is also interesting is what you do NOT reaveal.  Your name and what it is that you experience with the four techniques.  You don't really answer the original questions except in the vaguest terms possible, that you like it.  Well, if you like it, great.  But that doesn't explain anything to us.  So, who are you and what do you experience?  If you are so satisfied and so proud, why not proclaim it loudly and clearly so that we can all understand.  The fact is that we are ex-premies, and we already know what it is that premies experience.  And we already know why they stay anonymous and quiet and don't really share their inner wisdom.  Because it is mostly struggle, being a premie.  Mostly struggle to live up to the ideal that has been imposed upon you.  Enjoy each and every breath with great gratitude for being alive!  Is that what you experience?  Don't bother to answer because I know the answer already. 

Maharaji is living in a dream world.  And so are you.  And you deserve each other.  And it would be easy to just walk and move on and forget the whole thing.  But it's so sad.  Somebody needs to fight it.   Rawat is currently in a campaign to make himself appear legitimate.  He will not succeed because he is patently and obviously illegitimate and everybody can see that clearly except for a few fools like you.  And you, who try to help him legitimize himself, can do no more than stubbornly adhere to your own cultish belief system, which is obvious everytime you open your mouth about your Master and his perfect Knowledge.

See link for the blatant efforts to make Rawat appear legitimate, (by booking him at Harvard and U.N. buildings and requesting that mayors of cities give him awards and contacting certain obscure magazines to print fraudulent "interviews.")  As long as Rawat continues to perpetrate his dream world, there will be people who will fight him.   Get used to it.

And by the way, good luck with getting all your friends to listen to the Keys and join you in your cult.  Because that's what your Master wants you to do this year.  The Keys are going to bring peace to so many people in 2005.  Oh, but that's right, you don't care about all those other people.

At the link below, scroll down to Richard Cooper and "enhancing Maharaji's legitimacy."

Good newsletter, too.  Amazing, isn't it, that Rawat plagarizes Shakespeare?  Before long, premies will be believng that Rawat came up with the actors/players/stage thingy.

LOL!

Cynthia

Jonathan: Maharaji's current message is no different than his message thirty years ago.  Sure, the packaging might be different. But, at its core, the thread remains the same: when the master barks, the obedient dogs had better come running.

Premie Response: That's right, Jonathan, the constant message is look for your answers within.

If you seek inner happiness, Premie Response, then you ought to know that your objective is not shared by your leader. Your inner happiness is a mere by-product of Maharaji's gold-digging, Western exploits, not his Eastern mysticism.

Jonathan

You wrote in response to Jim's question:-

[Jim] Are you saying that Rawat's affair with Monica and miscellaneous sexual experiences with other women over the years has been a matter of open, respectful mutual agreement between him and Marolyn?

If you know about it Jim, it can hardly be a secret.Maybe Marolyn also knows about Monica?Maybe she and Maharaji have actually come to an agreement?It would certainly appear so.

The existence of Monica as Rawat's long time mistress was a secret until it was revealed by ex-premies. Certainly the few premies who knew about it kept it as a secret, as they tried to do with Rawat's drinking and abusive behaviour.

Regarding Marolyn, I understand she does know about Monica and does not like the situation. This is far from your description of their relationship as an 'open' marriage. Face it, you made that up, didn't you, to rationalise Rawat's behaviour. Why Marolyn stays now that the kids are adults is a mystery that perhaps Marolyn herself would like to explain one day.