And here I was finally, in the hallowed grounds of my beloved Lord. My divine task was to gather up all the tree clippings and burn them. Now not one for half measures, I set up the most glorious bonfire befitting our Lord. Truly a glory to behold. Standing taller than a man it was a magnificent tribute to the perfect one. Yet how to set this monolith ablaze? Another premie, drunk with the intoxication of serving our Lord, told me that he had a gallon can of petrol in his van which I could sprinkle on my bonfire to get it going. This was surely a sign from above! But I would show the full flame of my devotion and I poured the whole gallon can onto the bonfire, annointing it with the petrol of love.

I threw a lit match onto the mound of joy and stood back to witness the full glory of my service. Whhhoooommmffff! The whole bonfire turned into a pillar of flame, shooting forty feet or so into the air and setting fire to the tree which overhung it. Oh no! This was the worst thing that could happen as it blazed out of control like an inferno. What would the Lord say when told that his precious tree had been reduced to a charred lump, just a few yards from his house? First the cheese, and now THIS! Surely I would be banished from the house of the Lord forever. So I did the brave thing and walked down the hill to where some premies were pruning bushes away from the house and I pretended to know nothing about the burning tree and the inferno. Some premies remarked on the burning tree and thought it must be a sign. Yes I agreed. It's a sign for me to get out of here!