think you'll remove the filters from your heart long enough for you to grasp the meaning of my words, to understand what I'm trying to say. But I don't often get excuses such as you provide me with here, to explain exactly what I feel.
I don't have a clue why you experience what you do. Nor do I even know that what we experience is different, as you clearly assume. I feel it is more likely that we experience roughly the same thing but my eyes, my heart are open to it and so I perceive it differently from you. Practicing differently is, despite your disclaimer, certainly a possibility. Different initiators taught the techniques differently, which could perhaps be part of it. You EPOites, for example, keep talking about pressing on the eyeballs and about tintinitus (sp?), and there is no technique, never has been, that involves that. There is 1 that turns vision within and limits motion of the eyes in so doing, and 1, which turns the sense of hearing within..., but neither of them involves what you guys continually claim they do.
I think it has to do with single-mindedness, Livia. With facing our issues so we can give all of ourselves to the Self Within, not keep any part of ourselves separate. It may be because I, perhaps, have more trust than most. Seeing the Omnipresence of God by seeing the Light I meditated on within shining out from underneath every created thing while still seeing the forms of everything, and a dozen other experiences that demonstrated to me 1 or another of the descriptions of God used in the scriptures, may well have given me more reason to trust than you had. (NB: the description is not very accurate, but in the 31 years since it happened, at Millennium in Houston, Tx in '73, I've not come up with a better.) Maybe it was the 7 years doing chi-raising exercises as part of my study of martial arts. Maybe it was genetic; I'm supposed to be descended from a Comanche Weather Chief.
But I think it was the trust, the surrender. Coupled, perhaps, with the fact that my early experiences with other premies taught me early on to look at him, and not at premies. I ignored Denver HQ's request for me to drop it and come back to the mainland in '73. Instead I started DLM of Puerto Rico, and over 400 people came to Knowledge as a result. Maybe it is that I've always kept my eye open for the opportunity to share about the possibility of K, and on a 1-1 basis I've brought perhaps 50 . And all of the ones I've brought personally, as far as I know, still practice. (I see them at programs.) Did you know that my dear, sweet Sant Ji once said that he loves those who bring people to K more than he loves his own breath? To me, that alone might explain why my results are so different than yours.
Bottom line, IMO, I was and am open to being reshaped by the thing within. Completely. That is why I've been given so much, because I'm willing to respond in surrender rather than demanding my version of things. Was that true for you? I know it is rare even amongst premies who are around who’ve been around as long as I have. And I'm not saying anything against people whose approach is/was different than mine. Each of us, IMO, needs to work things out within our own triangle, within our own unique relationship with Master, Knowledge and our self, completely free from concern with how anyone else does it.
But you asked.