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Date:  

Sun, Feb 06, 2000 at 00:07:00 (GMT)

From:  

G

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To:  

All

Subject:  

Fitting punishments for Rawat
Message:
Some fitting sentences for Prem Pal Rawat (aka 'Maharaji', 'Guru Maharaj Ji', 'Perfect Master', 'Lord of the Universe' ...) for crimes against humanity:

(note: Satpal is Prem's oldest brother, also The Master)

1. He must obey the Agya of Mahatma David Smith, now speaking on the authority of Satpal.

2. He must kiss the ass feet of Son of Satpal every day and whenever asked. Ok, maybe his ass too. Also must clean said feet.

3. He must spend the rest of his life in one of Satpal's ashrams, sleeping on the floor, assigned to cleaning toilets (or whatever they have) and floors, making ghee for the arti tray, and other menial tasks. No exercise allowed, no conjugal visits, no mail privileges, no sexual or personal relations, no cigarettes or alcohol, no speaking unless asked to praise Satpal and Son of Satpal. Subsistence diet (eat to live). Will be chastised by David Smith if caught masturbating. Can go outside the ashram only if permitted and accompanied by David Smith, who will give him satsang.

Date:  

Sun, Feb 06, 2000 at 02:09:07 (GMT)

From:  

G

Email:  

To:  

All

Subject:  

Notes on above
Message:
Notes on above message

1. He must kiss the ass feet of Son of Satpal
should read
He must kiss the ass feet of Son of Satpal

2. David Smith is not really one of Satpal's Mahatmas.

Date:  

Sun, Feb 06, 2000 at 02:32:44 (GMT)

From:  

Sir Dave

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To:  

All

Subject:  

No need for Satpal
Message:
He should be made to listen to regular seminars from Jim Heller about current evolutionary theory and then given a written exam at the end of each week to see if he's absorbed anything.

In between Jim's seminars, Maharaji can come and clean my house and listen to me ramble on about how I've forgiven him and that I understand how he was forced into this trip and he tried to make the best of it. I will also lecture him on how money and power amount to nothing in the scheme of things and how appreciation of other people is more important.

Thanks Mr G for a great and funny post. I wonder if Maharaji and Son of Satpal have ever met?

Date:  

Sun, Feb 06, 2000 at 04:38:56 (GMT)

From:  

Helen

Email:  

To:  

Sir Dave/G

Subject:  

No need for Satpal
Message:
And he shall have to wear yucky Value Village clothing and operate on no sleep for weeks at a time in which he does 'service' building stages and planes, and sleeps in a tent outside the residence. And he shall beathe the fumes of harmful chemicals causing liver toxicity as he performs said service.

And he shall be be forced to separate from his children and wife because after all the truly devoted do not have attachments. 

5 Brighter than 1000 suns as seen through night vision goggles
4 As bright as the lights on Maharaji's jet
3 As bright as a 60 watt light bulb
2 As bright as a pile of burning ghi on a swinging arti tray
1 As bright as the inner light as seen by the third eye
Other