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Fri, Apr 30, 1999 at 14:09:51 (EDT)








Back to school, Maharaji
Here's the hamster's web site introduction. Empty, smug and, for those foolish enough to fall for it, dangerous:

'Know thyself' has echoed through the ages. This simple statement has been revised and updated, but has never lost its charm or intrigue.

A truly great irony. The fat little fuck turns Socrates on his head. Socrates, as we all know, stood for exacting, uncompromised mental scrutiny of all beliefs and concepts. Maharaji stands for the opposite.

We all, in our own ways, want to better ourselves, be it in our career, our family, our friends, our skills—whatever our chosen endeavor may be. So we should, and to this end many avenues are available to us.

He writes like a grade niner which should surprise none being that he still is a grade niner. That last sentence above is exactly the kind of superficial get-me-out-of-this-essay-so-I-can-go-back-to-watching-tv junk we all wrote back then.

However, one cannot forget one’s self.

Knowledge of the self is important—to some, indeed, paramount.

Same problem. This really does sound like a young high school student wrestling with the written word. He knows he's into a 'big' subject, but how to crack it without sounding trite or grandiose? Actually, what am I talking about? Those are Maharaji's problems but, unlike the sharper kids in his class, he seems impervious to the issue. Even in grade nine, this gets a 'C'. Was it handed in on time? Okay, C+.

Knowledge of the self begins with the self. Your universe resides within you, waiting to be discovered.
What does it take? It takes a sincere desire, an earnest thirst.

Understanding is a wonderful surprise. That which didn't make sense all of a sudden does.

And that's the whole theory, is it? This really is like low-grade children's work. A big build-up on a 'serious' subject. Then a tautological, embarrasingly cliched two-sentence stab at the subject itself. Capped off with the kind of throwaway line taht says, more than anything, 'I don't care what grade I get on this stupid assignment, I want to watch tv now!'

My efforts have always been to help people understand and feel the feeling within.

Only an ignoramus would present himself thusly for all the world to see. An ignoramus or a cult leader who never, ever experiences honest feedback for his thoughts and comments (i.e. quality control). So this bozo's efforts have always been to help people 'feel the feeling within'? Feel this, you dolt!

People through the years have tried to place me in a mold, and from the very early years I have not been able to oblige them.
To this day, some people see me the way they want to. After all, I guess it is rather inconvenient to see things as they really are.

Good point, guru. There has been a little confusion, hasn't there? So why don't you just step out from behind your dumb cult members and tell us, for once and for all, how are things really? What is a 'master'? How does one become one? Do you or do you not subscribe to everything your father said about spirituality? How about what you yourself have said voer the years?

But no, this creep's a coward. We all know that. The only way he'll ever do any talking is when the IRS comes a calling.

I have evolved, but my message stays the same. Externally, I have changed but within me, something stays the same.

Now, guru, you do indeed sound a bit defensive. This 'message' you keep talking about, could it be found in statements such as these:

'Because without Guru Maharaj Ji, everything just deteriorates in our lives. And it's like, maybe to some people that's like, 'Well, nothing has deteriorated in my life yet.' And yet we have to understand that for those people it is deteriorating, and that we have to come to that one conclusion in our own hearts.'

or perhaps,

'I possess such a thing that I do not need machine guns, I do not need pistols, I do not need a swrod, I do not need a spear. I possess such a Knowledge that I can control the whole world from ants to elephants, from men to animals, from birds to mosquitoes by tying them in a thread of love. I have this Knowledge and I have come to give it to you.

Dear premies, the time has come. See how peace will be established in the world. There will be peace on earth. Oh! Where has that peace gone? Now shall that peace prevail again. It will come and once again the world will understand it.

Love flows into me and the Lord has given me wisdom; will He not give me strength to establish peace on this earth?

What is your message, fat boy?

When I was very young, people were looking for the 'old silver-haired Guru with flowing white robes.' I was only eight.
When people were flocking to India for their search, I was in the West.

Boy, you wild and crazy guy, you! You really had them all guessing, didn't you? The fact is, though, you only came to the west as a souvenir of some of those people 'flocking to India'. Too bad they didn't have better pest control at the borders.

When people were looking for sophisticated discourses, I spoke of simple things.

Yeah, like:

Who is Guru? The highest manifestation of God is Guru. So when Guru is here, God is here, to whom will you give your devotion?

Guru Maharj Ji knows all. Guru Maharaji is Brahma (creator). Guru Maharaji is Vishnu (Operator). Guru Maharjai is Shiva (Destoryer of illusion and ego). And above all, Guru Mahraji is the Supremest Lord in person before us.

I have come so powerful. I have come for the world. Whenever the great come,the worldly oppose them. Again I have come and you are not listening. Every ear should hear that the saviour of humanity has come. There should be no chance for anyone to say that they haven't heard of Guru Maharaj Ji. Those who have come to me are already saved. Now its your duty to save others. Shout it on the streets. Why be shy?

When human beings forget the religion of humanity, the Supreme Lord incarnates. He takes a body and comes on this earth ......

When human beings forget this one way, then our Lord, who is the Lord of the whole universe, comes in human body to give us practical Knowlege, ....

But, most ironically, we don't appreciate the Lord when He comes in His human body on this earth.

Similarly, a Satguru, a Perfect Master, a Supreme Lord who is existing in the present time, can give you the practical Knowledge of the real thing...

So God Himself comes to give practical Knowledge of His divinity, of His inner self, which is self-effulgent light, eternal light, all-pervading light. **** And the Supreme Master, the Satguru, gives practical Knowledge of that light, irrespective of caste, creed, color, religion or sex, to those human individuals who bow before him with reverence, with love and with faith.

When people wanted nirvana, I said, 'You need peace.'

Yes, yes, peace. I remember you saying:

'I swear on the Bible that I will establish peace in the world'

Do you?

When people said, 'Tell us of the scriptures,' I said, 'Look within you.'

You also grand-standed a bit, didn't you? Remember this:

'You look at Christ, for isntance. And he came and was Perfect Master. According to the belief, he had enough power that after he was crucified, he came back. So, you think twice about this and you figure, if somebody has got a power -- and it was incredible as to be able to to be crucified and them come back again -- you can definitely figure out that he must ahve the power to sort of take the whole Earth and jiggle it once in a plastic bag. Give it a little twist, all us teensy-weensy things go falling into this palstic bag. He opens it up and says, 'Listen, you thing in there. Realize the purpose of your life, aim of your life. This is it. Period.'

When people asked, 'What is your qualification?' I said, 'Judge me by what I offer.'

Oh don't be so modest! Remember:

The Lord Himself reincarnates, reincarnates, reincarnates Himself for the very purpose of saving us. And we do not even realize who gave us the authority to refuse Him! Who are we anyway? From which field do we come that we can reject, that we can refuse, that we can deny our Lord? This is something that
I cannot answer. And we do it every time!. Because we have got a stupid ego. ..... We just don't know that we are His puppets.

Then the bullshit, infantile preface ends with this bald-faced lie:

This website is not here to make you want Knowledge or to show you what it is. That is a journey that needs to be undertaken with one's own thirst.

5 Brighter than 1000 suns as seen through night vision goggles
4 As bright as the lights on Maharaji's jet
3 As bright as a 60 watt light bulb
2 As bright as a pile of burning ghi on a swinging arti tray
1 As bright as the inner light as seen by the third eye