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 Posted by: Joe
 Date: 01/24/2005, 11:50:42
 Original URL: Click here (However, the link may be stale.)

What I "experienced" (HATE that word), when I went to "events" with Rawat wasn't "peace," it was relief/reassurance/acceptance, which I described as "peace.".

1.  RELIEF..  Basically, Prem Rawat is like an other snake oil salesman, in that he tells you there is something wrong with you, and then prescribes the cure, in which what he is selling is essential.  So, Rawat tells his followers that they lack peace, that they are confused, that their evil minds are tormenting them, and once they are hooked to some degree, that abandoning the cure (HIM), is a recipe for misery and disaster.  

 But since this is all hogwash, and knowledge and the myth of "grace" dosen't bring "peace and happiness" into the lives of premies, they will travel thousands of miles and spend thousands of dollars to experience the RELIEF of being told by Rawat that it is really  true, and be with thousands of other people who believe it too.  All that stress of lying to themselves about how "knowledge" is really making them peaceful and happy is removed for a few days.

2.  REASSURANCE.  Premies live in the bizarro world in which they have a kind of secret life, that they can't discuss with anybody with a brain, and they constantly have to fend off their own better judgment that they are in a cult and it is just WEIRD, self-esteem-destroying, and stagnating.  At a cult "event" with Rawat, premies get to experience that they are not alone in having this secret life, and they actually can be made to feel they are lucky and special above all others who don't have it.  They also get to see other premies, at least some of whom seem "successful" and "normal."  So, they get a feeling of reassurance that they really aren't in a cult and in something real that other people also "experience."

3. ACCEPTANCE.  This is the final thing.  Most premies fear that Rawat will get pissed at them, berate them, tell them they are confused assholes and that he doesn't love them.  When Rawat is actually kind of funny (he even tells JOKES, the ultimate comic "RELIEF"), and if even after yelling at them that they are scum (which he often did, and apparently still does in certain settings), he lightens up and implies that he "loves" them, they are relieved, reassured, and just "grateful" that they are still in the good graces of the living incarnation of God, or their imaginary friend, or whoever they think he is, which is mostly kept kind of vague, or at least not expressed out loud anymore.  They think they are still "accepted" by him and that also relieves some of the tension of being a premie, which also has a strong element of fear of being rejected by the living God.

Those are the three main things a premie gets from an "event," and they describe it as "joy" or "peace" or "love," or proabably, "that experience."

The problem is, it's really a sick cycle that goes on here.  I also have to say, that probably during my final 3 years as a premie, I didn't "experience" this anymore.  Even the "relief/reassurance/acceptance" didn't happen anymore.  So, even though I still believed Rawat's threats about what would happen to me if I left his cult, and I feared that he might really be God and I was following my evil mind, I did it anyway, because it became unbearable without the "relief" of being in Rawat's and the premie's presence at festivals.  When I didn't have that anymore, all I had was the tension, stress and obligations of being a premie, still isolated from most everyone else in the world.

See, the difference between premies and ex-premies is that ex-premies no longer build up all the tension a premie does in their lives, because they no longer have to live a secret life, worry about being accepted by Rawat, or try to deal with how weird being a premie is, and all the cognitive dissonance and contradictions about Rawat, his history, your "experience" and the rest.  So, they no longer need the relief of seeing Rawat and getting a group high from the other premies.  At that point, Rawat is no longer a source of survival for the belief system, he's just a strange, fat guy, who says boring, meaningless things that are just a bunch of simplistic platitudes, and it just seems inexpblicable how premies react to it like it's the precious waters of life.  

5 Brighter than 1000 suns as seen through night vision goggles
4 As bright as the lights on Maharaji's jet
3 As bright as a 60 watt light bulb
2 As bright as a pile of burning ghi on a swinging arti tray
1 As bright as the inner light as seen by the third eye

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