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Janet, an aging remnant of the 60's flower power revolution and a long time follower of Maharaji is living in her 1967 VW Microbus on the streets of Venice, California. Stuck somewhere between the promised good times of a previous era and the harsh and cold reality of the streets under constant threat of senseless violence and police harassment, Janet's only hope, Maharaji, is through an Internet connection of the modern world when she visits the local Radio Shacks and other appliance dealers where commissioned sales clerks allow her to use WebTV on their floor models. Janet has an account on WebTV and surfs the net and checks her email while the salesperson is distracted by her street punk friend, Sparrow, a known user of methamphetamines.

Maharaji is more aloof than ever, unreachable and completely insulated in his pampered cocoon. Janet no longer welcome to do service at the Malibu residence is desperately seeking to rekindle a link to better times that she experienced long ago in a far off and distant universe of love and kindness. Janet is hoping that her Lord will notice her plight and respond and return life to normalcy. But, Janet cannot email Maharaji from his website as she is trapped as it loops in endless senseless commands as WebTV chokes on all of those damn cookies Maharaji is trying to shove down it's throat.

Desperate, Janet resorts to one of those sick, hate-filled ex-premie websites and posts her plea to her Lord hoping that he is a regular visitor. And along comes JW with some hope, but what JW offers is a futuristic vision of a world of Maharaji devotion.

Date:

Wed, Sep 22, 1999 at 13:32:16 (EDT)

From:

Jethro

Email:

To:

All

Subject:

To Maharaji
Message:
I just found this message on a premie/ex-premie website at http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Ithaca/8154/

Name: Janet [last name omitted]
Location: Venice Beach on the Pacific--Los Angeles
Email: [email name omitted]@webtv.net
Date: Thurs, Sep 16, 1999 at 04:12:17 (EDT)

My message: I miss the old days. I miss the ashrams and the global family. I miss Satsang,Service,MeditAtion and Darshan. I MISS ARTI AT DAWN AND BEDTIME and silent pranam for everything. I miss premie houses and food coops. I miss no meat fish or egg vegetarianism. I miss community centers and community businesses. We have gotten too worldly and too egotistical. we made a wrong turn somewhere. the new elan vital hrts. i dont like it. i dont love i. i cant bring my friends-they are repeled by the conformity and the control.the street kids i know need this knowledge but wouldnt come near a program. thestudents on campus need it but scoff at the sight of us. we are going to be a memory, a flash in the pan, a curiosity that was there and died out, like the Oneida community did--and this Knowledge is too important to be lost that way. Maharaji- if you read this site, i want you to know i will never leave you but i cant fit in todays organization. and my friends dont either. one of my friends has come to see you for 8 years now. they wont give him Knowledge--he looks too rough and street punk. He hears the sound he sees light he gets nectar--but they judge him on his style and refuse him/this is not right. you also need to know that the email on your homepage does not work for us webtv users. it loops in endless ,senseless commands that have already been fulfilled as asked previously. so this is the only way i can email you. i hope you know of this site and read it.



Date:

Wed, Sep 22, 1999 at 16:08:39 (EDT)

From:

JW

Email:

To:

All

Subject:

Message:
You know, there might be something in what Janet says that Maharaji might want to pay attention to. I mean, it's really clear that his cult has really gone down the toilet in terms of recruiting new members outside of India, so what has he got to lose? Maybe he should just drop all the pretense and go back to the way it was, but even more so. I mean, at least then there were more followers. Hell, he could even add a few things. In addition to bringing back his Krishna costumes and that flute, he could brush up on his Hindi accent and only allow bald-headed premies, mostly East Indian, to run his organization. Make everyone be vegetarian like he used to, bring back the ashrams and even Community Coordinators -- better yet -- bring back General Secretaries-- also require nightly satsang and the three-legged stool of satsang, service and meditation. Maybe only allow the bald guys to give satsang though, at least for the first few years. I bet even some of his estranged holy family might get involved so that those other pictures could be put back on the altars! What has he got to lose? Rather than the current EV image, in which everyone is supposed to look like a middle-aged, former young Republican, the street punks might once again feel welcome. He could even add a few tried and true cult favorites:

1. He could perform mass weddings at Madison Square Garden for a thousand premies at the same time. Premies could get married to people they had just met for the first time and then Maharaji would name their children names like 'Satganga' and 'Surrender.' Then he could have 'married ashrams' as well as 'celibate ashrams.'

2. Require prostration to both himself and his pictures, which are REQUIRED to be taped to the dashboards of cars, at ALL TIMES. And buttons -- mandatory buttons with his picture on them worn at all times, even in the shower.

3. Box and sell 'food' as 'prashad' from the lotus mouth of the Lord. Also bottle and sell charnamarit and require premies to drink it every day.

4. REQUIRE that premies not only use barragons, but that they carry them around AT ALL TIMES and that only official 'VISIONS' barragons, bought from HIS company, are acceptable.

5. Bring back Maharaji's five commandments, including constantly meditate and leave no room for doubt in your mind, and add a few more, like 'submit to my Mahatmas' and 'David Smith is the reincarnation of Adolph Eichman'. Also, 'always wear Earth Shoes' and 'Send me money' might as well be included.

6. Maharaji should give darshan at least 20 times a year and require at least a $500 donation, in cash, each time. He should preach that if you don't have darshan at least every month, you will die an early, painful death and will go to hell.

8. Find out who is a true devotee by requiring daily leafletting at shopping malls by all premies, and especially aspirants. The leaflets MUST show a picture of Maharaji in full Krishna gear while having his feet kissed.

9. Buy one of the Space Shuttles and have the premies 'refurbish' it as a cost of 10 gazillion dollars done over a period of 25 years.

10. Have Joan Apter tour the country, just like she used to, and have her tell the premies to take out personal loans and give the money to Maharaji, just like she used to.

I think if Maharaji did some of these things, he might have a chance of not dying out and being a 'flash in the pan' as Janet fears. 

5 Brighter than 1000 suns as seen through night vision goggles
4 As bright as the lights on Maharaji's jet
3 As bright as a 60 watt light bulb
2 As bright as a pile of burning ghi on a swinging arti tray
1 As bright as the inner light as seen by the third eye
Other