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Editor's Note: In the previous post Way asks this question: Neither the Visions website or ELK seem to be posting excerpts from Rawat's recent satellite feeds. Is it because they don't want to provide exes with either the latest info or fodder for humor? Of course, the excerpts, when they are provided, are the blandest possible. We need a volunteer to go to satellite feeds and/or programs and get back to us with the juicy bits! I can't volunteer for the mission myself because everyone in my area already knows I'm an ex. Anyone out there with a strong stomach who is willing to spy?

Date:

Wed, Oct 20, 1999 at 13:45:19 (EDT)

From:

JW

Email:

To:

Way

Subject:

Re: Any spies?
Message:
You don't need a "report" to know what he said. Something like:

Dear premies, (pause) here we are once again, (long pause) given that opportunity to have that understanding of this knowledge, (long pause) that gift and that experience of that fulfillment. It is such a gift (pause) a gift that is within you (pause) within inside you (long pause) and that place is just so beautiful (long pause). In fact, it is inside of you all the time (long pause) and it has never not been inside of you (long pause) it is such a beautiful place (long pause). It's like I was watching television yesterday and I saw this commercial for ____________ and it just shows you the concepts people have about what god is, what life is, and what that purpose is. They were talking about ____________________ and _____________, and there are just all these ideas everywhere that try to tell you what that experience really is. And yet (long pause) we have been shown that place, (long pause) which is so beautiful (long pause) but we have to have that understanding and to be reminded of that place (long pause), etc., etc.,

[This rambling will go on for about 45 minutes)

Since there are indications that Maharaji is very short on money, there may be some discussion about 'participation' which is the new code-word for 'service' which means giving money because of the 'gratitude' (which is the new, more relatable word for 'devotion,') which you are supposed to feel as a premie, or maybe think you should feel and will therefore be coaxed to give money just in case that might get you the 'experience' that is promised but never delievered. Also, the satellite feed costs about $70 per-premie so this is also a good fundraiser for Maharaji, which premies will come to, even though he speaks the same simplistic, repetitive gibberish he always does.

Maharaji continues:

We will now have some boring new-age elevator music, which I wrote myself through the use of a computer program that requires you to push several different buttons to make the music happen. Then my daughter will sing devotional love songs from the 70s to me while wearing a low-cut dress, backed up by the aging, but still going strong, One Foundation. I might then be coaxed into standing up and jerking up and down awkwardly in a 'dance' so that you can scream and cry for about 5 minutes.

Blessings to to all the suckers, I mean premies. 

5 Brighter than 1000 suns as seen through night vision goggles
4 As bright as the lights on Maharaji's jet
3 As bright as a 60 watt light bulb
2 As bright as a pile of burning ghi on a swinging arti tray
1 As bright as the inner light as seen by the third eye
Other 
Other