Why do I find these irreverent parodies so funny? For me, it began with Hilltop's priceless rendition of a book of unlit matches in response to Prem Rawat referring to his critics as unlit matches... criticism that centered on his baseless teachings, rank hypocrisy, sexual exploitation of followers, drunkenness, unmitigated greed and so on. Hilltop's matchbook provided me with a much needed and encouraging glimpse of my former self and how much freedom and autonomy I sacrificed along the way.
I find these parodies funny because they expose the preposterous nature of Prem Rawat's teachings, especially during his early decades in the west, all of which I fell for hook, line and sinker. Although I can't remember the exact wording of his quotes and I'm not about to look them up, following are a few examples:
• Not practicing Knowledge would be like having all the vegetables in the universe rot in your closet.
• Not a leaf moves without the grace of Guru Maharaji.
• Leaving Knowledge causes a devotee to fall from grace and shatter into a million pieces.
• Guru Maharaji could cast you to the other side of the universe in the twinkling of an eye.
• Guru Maharaji. The Lord. All powerful.
• Techniques are just techniques. They don't do anything at all without the grace of Guru Maharaji to make them work.
• Premies who meditate by the clock are pursuing death.
• If I took Knowledge back, you'd need to bring pallbearers to carry you away.
• Not meditating is like frying your wrists with 10,000 volts.
• Leaving the ashram is the worst mistake a premie could ever make.
• Referring to marriage: You might as well shove a stick of dynamite down your throat.
• On missing work or getting fired for taking time off for a festival: Who cares what your boss thinks as long as the Big Boss is happy.
• The whole world is going in one direction and I am the only one going in the opposite direction.
• Grinning ear to ear to wild applause: What about that magician who actually created that bunny rabbit?
• If all the oceans were ink and all the forests were pens, you still couldn't describe the glory of Guru Maharaji.
• And when you sing Arti, mean it!
Obviously, this guy was pretty big on himself.
The tragic part is that behind closed doors and behind the doors to their secret inner life, many of his followers affected by that era continue to worship him with a lingering and deep-seated fear of in any way displeasing or criticizing him, no matter how deserving he is.
THAT is not funny.
Otherwise, yes, I laugh at such irreverence in part because I believe it plays an important role in exposing Prem Rawat as a sociopathic fraud as well as the ridiculousness of his early claims, which he never unambiguously disavowed. It reminds me of a forum thread in which ideas for a South Park episode about this cult were tossed around. In typical South Park imagery, a gloriously raucous and cartoonish grand parade on a spectacular blue-sky day with none other than the Mr. Hanky blimp floating high above towing a "Lord of the Universe" banner. Leading the parade, of course, is Prem Rawat portrayed as an oversized hood ornament on a stretched clown car limousine followed by a contingent of Arti tray swinging devotees gleefully singing Arti to the beat of TED and his buddies pounding on their rusty oil barrels, followed by a glittery Bhole Ji-like figure as the drum major leading the Blue Aquarius marching band with heavy emphasis on the tubas, followed by a contingent of cheerleading beragon twirlers, followed by a humble fellow on a flowery float singing "Maharaji you are the Lord... will you dance, dance, dance," followed by the famous Sari Brigade performing Prem's familiar to-and-fro swaying dance thing, whatever it was... in unison, and so on.
The colorful floats! eDrek's thumb sketches brought to life like the magnificent balloons in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Sky writing! Seriously, if all the oceans were ink and all the forests were pens...
I know I embellished a little. Nevertheless, at the very least, this is the kind of irreverence Prem's preposterous claims and actions call for until such time as he finds enough genuine shame, courage, humility or whatever it takes to finally accept responsibility for all the senseless harm and pain he caused in peoples' lives and disabuses his followers of all the nonsense he filled them with.
