It's all in the attitudes, isn't it, the 'direction' , the 'wisdom' premies think they gain from listening to him, being up to date on his latest speechifying.
In 1974, at East Dulwich, he said something along the lines of:
‘When you dive to the bottom of the ocean, your flippers kick up a lot of sand, just wait a while for it to settle, for the confusion to settle, and everything will become beautifully crystal clear.’
Ah, I thought, what a relief, he understands what is happening to me, and obviously not just me, I can just sit back and wait, and the confusion will settle.
I waited, and I waited. I waited so long I forgot I was confused!
It was reading the old stuff on epo, having my memory jogged about the early days, that made me realize what a ‘Simon Says’ game my ideas, beliefs, my attitudes had been involved in. The switchback forked tongue path Prempal ‘Guru Maharaji Ji’ Rawat had taken us on.
The only thing he tells us of substance when he hoists himself up on that Satsang Throne, is about himself.
When he was little, he saw a toy truck in the window of a local shop. He asked the shopkeeper to give it to him, and was told to ask his mum for the money. He asked her, she said no. He ran a campaign, he was successful, he got the truck. Clearly, this was one of those seminal moments in his life. The lesson to be gained from it, according to him, was that when you want something, insist, demand, persist, until you get it.
Then, of course, he was fond of telling little stories about receiving gifts. How one should have no expectations, and be ever so humble, ever so grateful if one were to receive a gift, and not, no never ever, importune, make demands on the giver.
Well you got your truck, Prempal old pal, time to learn how to change gears now.
As for me, well, as I read and remembered, as the Awful Truth sunk in, 27 years later, and giddy with relief, the confusion finally settled. And I could understand, with a beautiful crystal clarity, that Prempal ‘Maharaji’ Rawat was of no relevance to me.