Well Cynthia, it sure seems you are confused and do not have that understanding.  But I do and right now I feel most lucky and a tad superior that I appreciate that gift and you don't

Life really is like moving Mount Everest, only worse.  I did finally figure out which organ I could sell and I have once again been given the divine grace to travel to Amaroo and spend a few, glorious, days and nights with the master inspirational speaker.  I know I needed it badly, and I can tell that Prem Rawat is still fulfilling his promise to me and is destroying my mind.  It's just so beautiful, but mind isn't going without a fight.

I stayed in the "swampman" tent area because it was all I could afford, but I did have the grace to be given the opportunity to take out the garbage at FINE DINING.  I waited on a lot of rich PWKs there.  IT was blissful.

But I have to say, Maharaji gave me a good test because my back was KILLLING me the entire time from sleeping in that place and bending over washing dishes at FINE DINING.  Actually, I'm sure it was just my MIND that gave me excruciating pain when I sat in the ampitheatre to to hear the successful investor himself speak and answer expressions.

So, by the grace of he who has never claimed to be God, I had the opportunity to sit and be completely miserable in the presence of the Master, and I was not about to leave, because I know that literally millions of people would crawl accross hot coals for years, just for that gift of being in Maharaji's presence, not to mention move Everest.

As we all know MIND is strongest around Maharaji and if you are in dire agony in his presence, and if you find his behavior so nauseating you are about to throw up, it just means knowledge and Maharaji's darshan are working, destroying all the evil, filthy, disgusting impurities inside us. After all, we must understand that without Maharaji, we are nothing more than intestinal parasites that are expelled from stinking, infected bodies in great discharges of diahrea.

Yes, we are just parasites begging for the right to exist. Can a parasitic beggar be a chooser? Of course not, you idiot. If we are given unbelievable, excruciating pain, it's because that's what we need in that moment, and it's so beautiful. Sometimes I stick needles into my face and under my fingernails just so I can be reminded how beautiful it is to be around Maharaji and the PWKs.  To see it any other way is to have doubt, which is mind.

Also, I got to spend some time with David Smith. He is a true manifestation of an evolved intestinal parasite. He has mastered the art of being an automoton and sounding like they have been lobotomized. In fact, David no longer has any voice inflection left, and I've heard he cannot even dress himself anymore. Isn't that so beautiful?

And that's the look Maharaji is after for all PWKs, and certainly anyone given the supreme privilege of speaking about knowledge or being an instructor.  You can't have doubts, otherwise you might think and that is MIND.  I will be paying off the cost of my Amaroo tent for the next year, and I am once again living in the trunk of my car, but to doubt all that it isn't perfect is just MIND.

Pauline