I remember years ago when I was young and idealistic.
I had been doing meditation of various types for a few years. I was a pacifist who felt the Viet Nam war needed to be stopped.
And then I heard about Maharaji at a weekend Transcendental Meditation (TM) retreat. They were saying in hushed tones that Maharaji could put you in "Cosmic Consciousness" instantly, but it didn't last. "Cosmic Consciousness" was one of the goals of TM, but it would only happen after about 10 years of meditation. I had gotten the TM meditation technique by signing up and paying $35 and giving an orange as an offering. There was, at that time, maybe just one introductory meeting to attend and that was it. The meditation took me "inside" and I did feel peace. And, you know? It was the same "inside" that Maharaji's techniques get you too (sometime.)
Anyway, I was young and I was naive. And I fell into Maharaji's web with his promises of enlightenment and inner peace as well as peace for all of mankind. And, of course, the real insider story was that Maharaji was the Messiah - God.
I gave up college, my family, and friends to move into the premie houses and pre-ashrams. I gave all my money and my time. My whole world was the premie world where Maharaji was on a pedestal. And most of the premies were good loving and caring people and we shared a lot of the same goals - inner peace and peace for mankind.
Like I said, Maharaji was on a pedestal. And after 25 years of trying to make Maharaji and his Knowledge work I finally gave up and I gave into the nagging doubts that I had carried around for years and years. And Maharaji came down from that pedestal and landed on the ground and he became just another human being like you and like me. And he was no longer my God.
The Ex-Premie Forum provided me with the courage and strength and "knowledge" to make my break.
Nevertheless, it was a terrifying experience for me. I had for years and years been living with an imaginary friend in my head called Maharaji because everything that he ever said and everything that every premie and mahatma said was that Maharaji should be my all and my everything and nothing else in life mattered.
Everything in my life had a beginning and an end. And, yeah, all things must surely pass away, but my Guru "Even in your darkest hour I will not abandon you" Maharaji would be there with me through thick and thin and even down to the bitter end and beyond. Or so I thought.
And I was kicking "Him" out. I was taking my life back and I was giving "Him" a hard look and scrutinizing "Him" in a way I had never done.
I had done the unthinkable. I had abandoned my Lord and Master.
Come on, there's absolutely no other way to interpret what was drilled into our heads and it all came down from the top - from Prem "Not a Leaf" Rawat.
I am a naive person. I am a believer in people even when I shouldn't be. And right now I can't believe that Elan Vital and all those people I knew whom we shared such important goals as peace are now acting the way they are with their outright lies and smear campaign. Sure, they'll say we're the pot calling the kettle black, but we are speaking from our experiences about what we collectively know about the man we worshipped up on that pedestal. We are speaking from our hearts and we are speaking what we believe and know to be the truth.
Yes, TRUTH. You know, the "Sat" in "Jai SatChitAnand", the premie greeting which means "hail truth, consciousness, and bliss".
And now I realize how totally and utterly naive I was and am.
And I finally understand humility as I realize the extent of Maharaji's power as I watch him trampling over the truth like tanks in Tiananmen Square.
And I'm in complete shock and awe as I read the premies' reactions in the catbox. They couldn't see the Truth if their lives depended on it. No, the respect and regard for the truth has been suspended for reasons of expediency. The divine mission must succeed, no matter what. Mankind must have the peace that can only be felt.
My god, what have we wrought?