Best of the Forum - tommo - Re: Prem talks about his mother's charity

Re: Prem talks about his mother's charity

Posted by:	tommo
Date:	05/03/2024, 05:57:16
Original URL:	Click here (However, the link may be stale.)

Well done for putting on the mask and gloves, diving into these streams of crap and coming out again with such an acute analysis Ocker Ji!

Yes indeed. PR's repeated little anecdote and the response it always elicited can only ever be understood from the perspective of an implicit premie belief that first only his father and then only he, PR, the annointed successor, could ever 'guarantee salvation'.

But speaking to Tim Freke he apparently never believed any of that 'Indian religion' . So merely a barefaced liar who abused the position of trust and power that his promotion of 'Indian religion' had put him in?

Hans Jayanti 1979 I remember as a particularly troubled time in my own life. It was a time of maximum cult fervour and intensity and I'd been to about every festival and service opportunity going that year. I was in the middle of doing a science PhD -- but basically doing nothing because the cult was taking up most of my time. I was also with the lady who eventually became my wife - but was perilously close to wrecking everything that mattered in my life because of Rawat's baleful influence. All roads seem to lead to ever greater cult involvement and probably the ashram. I had dragged friends back into the cult and, shamefully, introduced at least one person into his trap. I especially remember Kissimee 79 and the week-long moment by moment constant brainwashing that we subjected ourselves to -- every moment listening to satsang, queuing up for things, waiting for PR to drive round the campsite, ferociously meditating in any downtime, looking for service to do. But the most mind-abusing part really was Rawat's 'satsangs' . The real psychological problem that I had - and indeed everyone had - was that - even by obeying agya and being there at all - you had already invested so far that it only then made sense to completely trust whatever Rawat said and to drink in every word in rapt and uncritical attention. Having people in such a deeply impressionable receptive state was incredibly dangerous - and the reason why - when you read them now - Rawat's words may seem just plain clumsy and ridiculous but they were in fact sometimes powerfully abusive and caused significant harm to many people in terms of the effects upon the course of people's lives.

There was one afternoon talk that Rawat gave at Kissimee 79 - a Monday afternoon I believe - that I remember as particularly abusive and made me feel so inadequate and hopeless that I just crept back to my tent and wept. Ocker Ji - if you don't mind maybe you could point to a transcript of that?

Tim

Hans Jayanti '79

Posted by:	lakeshore
Date:	05/03/2024, 12:54:17
Original URL:	Click here (However, the link may be stale.)

"that I remember as particularly abusive and made me feel so inadequate and hopeless that I just crept back to my tent and wept"

Thank you Tim. You really captured it... much like I remember that festival. I mentioned it before, but like you, I tried so hard to do everything right at that festival. All my eggs were in that basket. I meditated for hours every day, did service and sat like a statue intensely focused on every word he said while glued to the Word (before it bacame the third technique) and with my tongue curled back. I tried everything. Went down the whole list... letting go, surrendering, emptying my cup, heart of a child - begging for anything - and then some. But I still wasn't feeling it, even after darshan. Walking back to a rented motor home* one night after Arti with a towel over my shoulder, I came across a plastic bucket. Out of frustration, I threw-in the towel and kicked the bucket. (Even that didn't work.)

But no, that didn't stop me from hanging in there for another thirty years!! You know why? Because devotion has nothing to do with day-to-day experience! Ask any premie. Like a camel dung ladu, some days Knowledge tasted like s#1t, but I practiced it anyway because somebody told me it was what was keeping me alive and I might shatter in a million pieces if I ever broke "that connection." Almost as bad as entertaining a doubt!

I probably shouldn't mention this, but to add insult to injury after that bucket episode, it was my turn to empty the motorhome holding tank the next day. Suffice it to say that I should've read the instructions before I opened the valve.

* We crammed sixteen of us into two rented motor homes because it was cheaper overall than separate cars and tents.

Re: Hans Jayanti '79

Posted by:	13
Date:	05/03/2024, 13:55:11
Original URL:	Click here (However, the link may be stale.)

Great Lakeshore. I too was doing my best there. Rawat really went for it, angrily describing how worthless the best of us were, unfit to tie his shoelaces or something like that. Many people left the event early in response.

Sadly, I didn't but doubled down. My service there was emptying the rubbish. At the end, I flew to LA, but was so determined to pull my weight I didn't even take the time for a shower. Emptying rubbish in the Florida heat.

I was exhausted. Just caught the plane and though it was pretty full, no-one wanted to sit near me. I had 5 seats to myself at the back and slept like a stinky baby.

That time in Kissimmee, he was so much the dissatisfied Perfect Master, the only one who knew how things ought to be done, the unappreciated Lord - to now claim that was just Hindu religion he had to play along with is utter bollocks.

I should add how I got a shower at last. I arrived in LA knowing no-one there and with very little money. I couldn't find a secluded place to sleep, so decided a safe place to sleep might be in the middle of a huge sports field. Away from everything. Pretty flat and comfy in my sleeping bag. I don't think I had ever seen those huge sprinklers before. Not till just before dawn. Me and everything I owned absolutely drenched and very cold!